In a matter of two and a half weeks we have all of our three children’s birthdays.
That is a lot for our family to wrangle.
We have created a lot of fun traditions. We have made this unique situation our own as best we can.
As stated prior, my wife and I are the proud creators of three wonderful trike motors. We understand how the birds and the bees work. We did not plan on how blessed we would be when it came to having children. We whispered we should start trying to have kids in mid 2014, our first son was born Feb 2015.
We always wanted 3 kids, and we wanted them to be in close proximity age wise. So around 2016 we thought about trying again. Kristina was pregnant faster than you could say Bob’s your uncle, even though he is not.
Little did we know until her 13-14 week ultrasound appointment, our stork order got doubled due to a clerical error. . . and we were soon to be parents of twins as our first son was just a toddler. He was one year and 11 months old when our family became a bonafide circus, where on Jan 2017, our twins came to play.
It has been a wild run, I say a circus for comedic effect. But I stand by that as there are animals, poop, entertainment, laughing then crying children, peanuts, and intermittent guest appearances by clowns. I wouldn’t change it for the world though.
We are blessed.
I digress. Onto the encouragement thesis! As you may have noticed all three of our children have birthdays within two and a half weeks of one another. The twins have Bdays just 3 short weeks after Christmas. It is an expensive time in our house and it requires a CEO level of planning, budgeting, and scheduling to pull it off while creating happy times for three awesome kids.
My wife is amazing at so many things, but she kicks it into overdrive for Christmas and Birthdays. It is her life motto that her children will feel joy, happiness on Christmas. It is her mission to make their birthday a special day for each of them. She makes lists of xmas and bday gifts, catalogs their choices and wants. She looks for deals, she is scouring all stores for just the right thing. She does such a good job.
We need to step up and go to work through this time frame, but again for our kids to feel that they are special and it is their day, it is worth it. My wife cover’s their doors in streamers, she puts up decorations celebrating their big day. They wake up to their table chair being decorated and their packages displayed at their seat. They get their choice of a birthday donut. They get to blow out their tiny donut candle, a rousing rendition of happy birthday song, and open a package the morning of their birthday. They get to choose their place of dinner for their birthday meal. They are darn rockstars on account of my beautiful wife. We call her with honor “The Birthday Fairy”.
In 3 weeks we have had three birthday parties. Three birthday dinners. Rough estimate of 8 packages per kid. Three rounds of birthday donuts. Three dollar general birthday packs. Three happy smiling birthday kids. Two tired smiling parents are also on the list.
With so many birthday festivities, we have also encountered an interesting character known as jealousy. Our big boy is getting jealous of his little brother and sister as their birthday comes before his. He said "It doesn't even make sense Dad, I was born before them!”. He had a hard time with the festivities, presents, dinners, and gifts happening all without him being the recipient. I'm sure it feels off as he sees his brother and his sister getting things and he is left out. Fear not, we make sure that when our birthday celebrations come, they all get to participate in a great many things.
He was not alone, we had the twins a grumbling the night before the big brother’s festivities with comments like “I don't remember you cheering for my birthday.” My wife and I’s eyes rolled so hard I think we pulled an ocular muscle.
With all this troop dissension, we have created a term. I have not trademarked it and will not take credit for it solely. We have educated our kids to be good birthday buddies.
Each kid deserves to feel special on their birthday. That is simple enough for most adults to understand. It is easy for us to go to a friend's birthday and celebrate them.
I marvel at many unchecked and full fledged emotions of kiddom. This is a big one. It is hard for them to attend a birthday, let alone one happening in your own house and it is not yours. Watching a sibling open gifts that they don’t get to have. Hard not to be jealous as they just want. That is a tough pill to swallow, I wager.
That is why with our specific rapid fire birthday situation, we try to give each their moment, even when it's on the same day with twins. We try to have them all involved in the processes, the treats, the fun, and the happiness. We have asked them to be birthday buddies. A little known offshoot of the Golden Rule. Be a good buddy on a friend or siblings birthday, as they then will be a good buddy onto you.
That means in a simple summation; no tantrums, no present stealing, no complaining, no whining, positive mental attitude, generalized happiness and support for the birthday person.
We have had chats, pep talks, bargaining, even discipline to enforce this birthday buddy ideology. For all intents and purposes, they do a great job. They are happy for each other. They get to have good meals, tons of breakfast donuts, 3 cakes, three parties, and a bucket load of good gifts in a relatively short time. It is a fun, tiring, expensive, busy time of year for our house.
No matter the work, money, time, and attention. I know I need to step up and do my part. It's birthday buddy or bust in the Post house.
Keep at it out there gents.
I believe Daniel Tiger was the first to coin the Birthday Buddy phrase. Maybe we should have them watch that episode every year until they reach the teenage years. Birthday Buddy or bust!